Depression is a real threat to modern man. It is something
that has been neglected for many a year. The reason I wanted to address this
issue was due to the amount of people who suffer from it.
Some claim it is a choice that one makes. It is not a choice
and the body feels pain even though there is no object to the pain. Internal
torment goes with one wherever they are. This is not easy for anyone to
understand unless they felt it too.
Sleep is often the only escape from their pain hiding their
pain behind empty smiles and being productive. Yet hiding their true feelings
underneath layers of unchangeable chapters of the past.
Trauma
Trauma is often the cause of depression. Having difficulties
that cannot be overcome or trying to put a brave face on sorrows when what is
needed is dealing with the grief. The death or end of something causes most traumas
when it is not internally resolved.
People deal with grief in different ways and it can be more
harmful for men who are more likely to become isolated. Suicide is one of the
biggest killers of young men. Yet where is the discussion and is support
available? Women can often talk out their problems and men do the opposite.
They hide what they feel and it surfaces as other emotions. Worst of all is destructive
behaviour that harms all those around them.
Failure
You have to know failure is part of the path of life. Eventually
you will fail but you only truly fail when you fail to learn anything from it. Alternatively,
you fail to get back up and try again. You will get better, over time.
Growth is often painful and you can grow by letting go of
your past. Only when you have let go of the past can you welcome a new future. You
are not alone in your struggle someone in the world has struggled and lost what
you have. You have to find the strength to carry on and this is a slow process
and takes time. Most love stories in the world have sad endings and only in the
movies do they have a successful conclusion, live is not like that.
Suicide has hit many men particularly those without jobs,
for whatever reason, consider suicide because they cannot provide for their
children. This is truly a massive area that needs to be addressed.
Suicide
One person's suicide can affect a few thousand people. It affects
every family member, every friend and everyone who knew that person. It leaves
them with questions that will torment them until they die. How many people kill
themselves and leave their children and spouses in perpetual pain because they
cannot overcome the loss and they will never get answers.
A person might deem themselves as insignificant but that is
not how it really is. The role they play in the world of father, wife, siblings,
cannot be done by someone else.
If this is where you are then seek immediate assistance immediately.
Hadith to consider
رَوَى
البخاريُّ ومُسْلِمٌ في صَحِيحَيْهِمَا عَنْ رَسُولِ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم أنهُ
قالَ: مَنْ قَتَلَ نَفْسَهُ بِحَدِيدَةٍ فَحَدِيدَتُهُ فِي يَدِهِ يَتَوَجَّأُ بِهَا
فِي بَطْنِهِ فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ خَالِدًا فِيهَا أَبَدًا، وَمَنْ شَرِبَ سَمًّا فَقَتَلَ
نَفْسَهُ فَهُوَ يَتَحَسَّاهُ فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ خَالِدًا مُخَلَّدًا فِيهَا أَبَدًا،
وَمَنْ تَرَدَّى مِنْ جَبَلٍ فَقَتَلَ نَفْسَهُ فَهُوَ يَتَرَدَّى فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ
خَالِدًا مُخَلَّدًا فِيهَا أَبَدًا
Bukhari and Muslim report in their authentic collections
that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him)
said, "Whoever kills themselves by [a sharp object like] iron will cut himself
continually, in his stomach, in the fire of hell forever. Whoever drinks poison
to kill themselves will drink poison in the fire of hell forever. Whoever
throws themselves off a mountain to kill themselves will continue to do so in
the fire of hell, and [they are in] hell forever."
This is a serious warning not to do this action and this
includes any manner that one kill themselves and it does not matter how. The
Shariah is there to protect human life and not endanger it. Killing themselves
in any circumstances is not allowed and even in war, in an act of defense.
Medication
This is also a subject that people have differing views. Irving Kirsh and others have confirmed the following:
"Conclusions
The benefits of antidepressants seem to be minimal and possibly without
any importance to the average patient with major depressive disorder.
Antidepressants should not be used for adults with major depressive
disorder before valid evidence has shown that the potential beneficial
effects outweigh the harmful effects."
Some research said that depression was a chemical imbalance in the brain but it goes much further than this. Its more than likely that pills will not help most people and only a few who need to feel like taking medication makes them feel better.
Natural Medicines
By Shaykh Nazim Al-Haqqani said about depression, "Visit hospitals, mental houses, prisons and old peoples homes regularly and your own depressions will disappear quickly. Nowadays many young people get depressed because they are forced to make an education in which they have to learn theoretical subjects for long years which they afterwards never have do not even get a job. To avoid this I suggest young people to learn skills like carpentry which is very useful and will also give them a job at the end of their training." (p.49)
There are some points here. Sometimes being depressed is when someone is just stuck in a moment of their past and cannot see a way out. Looking at other peoples problems gives one perspective on their own problems.
Working in a job that you hate is almost as bad as having no job. Sometimes one can make a living with their pleasure but most of the time they do not. But you can learn something that is close to your field and get a related job. Parents should not force kids to do things that they hate.
Supplications
عَن أَنسٍ رضي الله عنه أَنَّ النَّبيَّ
صلى الله عليه وسلم كَانَ كَثِيرًا مَا يَقُولُ: اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ
الهَمِّ وَالحَزَنِ، وَالعَجزِ وَالكَسَلِ، وَالبُخلِ وَالجُبنِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّينِ
وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ
صحيح البخاري: 6363
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Prophet
(may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) was often heard saying, "O
Allah, I seek refuge with You from concerns, sadness, weakness, laziness, miserliness,
cowardice, being overcome by debts and being overcome by men." Bukhari
This supplication is reported in Abu Dawud in a different
report and it said that the supplication should be repeated in the morning and
evening. Supplication for guidance is never turned away.
Concerns and sadness fuel depression as does weakness of a
sick body. This causes laziness and the rest. It is like a chain that lead one
further down to the next item. So use this supplication and repeat it twice a
day.
Possible treatments
Anti-depressants have had varied
results and some argue that they do not help except as a placebo. These should
only be taken under the care of the professional care.
The Depression Cure offers six
practical steps to fighting depression through Stephen S. Ilardi's program
Therapeutic Lifestyle Change (TLC)
TLC are:
- Dietary omega-3 fatty acids
- Engaging activity
- Physical exercise
- Sunlight exposure
- Social support
- sleep
These concur with some things that the actor Jim Carrey said: "I
believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don't
exercise, eat nutritious foods, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume
positive material [and] surround yourself with support, then you aren't giving
yourself a fighting chance."
Most people are stuck in modes or patterns of behaviour and
the person must break their behaviour, this as easy as it seems. A person could
need to speak to a professional counsellor who can advise them what to do and
listen to their issues.
Sometimes there are vitamin C and D deficiencies so it is
worth getting a check up. Simple supplements can be taken to help the person
come back to normal.
Laughter is the best medicine and there is some truth to
this. Watching or listening to depressing films is not likely to help and it is
more likely to make you worse. So watch a comedy program or share some laughter
with a friend.
When a heart is sad it needs something to take the place of
what has been lost or it needs something to keep it busy to remove the pain. This
can be anything lawful to do. Helping others is one such thing like getting involved
in charities and so on.
It is a long road to recovery and it is sometimes a means of
coping with it. Some days will be better than other days but we are like Rocky
Balboa, we never give up.
"Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not
count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every
lot has enough happiness provided for it." —Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes From
Underground
Please also buy two books on tribulation because they might help you.
Commentary 40 hadith on tribulation
Commentary on Seventeen Benefits of Tribulation
Do not spend prolonged time pouring over details of failure.
Learn from the problem and move on. You are meant to have things for a certain
time and some things you are never meant to have. The best thing you can do is
move on and hope in Allah (The Exalted) for a better future.
If there are family issues then this needs to be resolved
and discussed. They should have some sort of job, even a job that one does not
like. Having time on ones hands can increase and lengthen the problems. You
need to maintain a routine of getting up and sleeping at the same time to help
your internal clock.
Exercises is one of methods of making energy and help
produce endorphins. Failure is part of the course so even if you have
determined to leave it realise there will be slip-ups.
The forgotten past
There are different types of depression, Abu Zayd al-Balkhi
(may Allah show him mercy) a ninth century physician wrote a book about cognitive behaviour and depression
in which the causes, which were because of sadness and other without reason
called Substance of the soul, "It is a sudden affliction of sorrow
and distress/ghummah, which persists all the time preventing the afflicted
person from physical activity or from showing any happiness or enjoying any of
the pleasures or shahwah [passions]." P.21 The book has been translated by Malik
Badri and is worth reading because it was one of the first to talk about mental health.
Treatments
Abu Zayd al-Balkhi (may Allah show him mercy) mentions the impurity of the blood which
can be purified by cupping and bloodletting but that is just part of the
process. "As for the physical, it concentrates on purifying and
psychological. As for the physical, it concentrates on purifying the blood,
increasing its temperature and making it lighter." P.51
Depression brings darkness and dryness to the body and it
means that they need to elevate themselves. Cupping removes dead blood in the
body.
He continues, "The psychological is limited to gentle
encouraging talk that brings back some happiness as well as listening to music
and songs and similar activities that emotionally give warmth to the gloomy."
Ibid
Some uplifting nasheeds and songs encouraging goodness do
help. Music therapy helps by distracting the person from the pain they are
feeling and this helps them distract from it. Sunlight does help but not
sunbathing!
He continues, "One must take cognizance of the fact
that the most saddening moment of an incident is its inception and that the
days that come after will certainly reduce its painful effects until it is
gradually pushed into forgetfulness. This kind of mental manoeuvre is bound to
bring about a quick feeling of comfort or even happiness and pleasure."
(p54)
We are only here for a short time and the difficulties we
face will pass. Time will make the sharpness of the memory duller.
He continues, "An additional mental tactic for the
afflicted person is to choose some sincere and trusted relatives or friends, who
really love him and wish for his good health and happiness, in order to frankly
discuss his problem with them and listen to their counsel and advice." (p.62)
A person get find a counsellor if no friend of family is available.
We should talk to those who will listen and then adhere to the advice they
give. Otherwise, there is no point in asking for help.
Most of all it is not an overnight process, rather it takes time like drug addiction, one has work gradually to remove it from ones life. Best of luck!
Please also buy two books on tribulation because they might help you.
Commentary 40 hadith on tribulation
Commentary on Seventeen Benefits of Tribulation
