Depression

Depression is a real threat to modern man. It is something that has been neglected for many a year. The reason I wanted to address this issue was due to the amount of people who suffer from it. 

Some claim it is a choice that one makes. It is not a choice and the body feels pain even though there is no object to the pain. Internal torment goes with one wherever they are. This is not easy for anyone to understand unless they felt it too.

Sleep is often the only escape from their pain hiding their pain behind empty smiles and being productive. Yet hiding their true feelings underneath layers of unchangeable chapters of the past.

Trauma

Trauma is often the cause of depression. Having difficulties that cannot be overcome or trying to put a brave face on sorrows when what is needed is dealing with the grief. The death or end of something causes most traumas when it is not internally resolved.

People deal with grief in different ways and it can be more harmful for men who are more likely to become isolated. Suicide is one of the biggest killers of young men. Yet where is the discussion and is support available? Women can often talk out their problems and men do the opposite. They hide what they feel and it surfaces as other emotions. Worst of all is destructive behaviour that harms all those around them.

Failure

You have to know failure is part of the path of life. Eventually you will fail but you only truly fail when you fail to learn anything from it. Alternatively, you fail to get back up and try again. You will get better, over time.

Growth is often painful and you can grow by letting go of your past. Only when you have let go of the past can you welcome a new future. You are not alone in your struggle someone in the world has struggled and lost what you have. You have to find the strength to carry on and this is a slow process and takes time. Most love stories in the world have sad endings and only in the movies do they have a successful conclusion, live is not like that.

Suicide has hit many men particularly those without jobs, for whatever reason, consider suicide because they cannot provide for their children. This is truly a massive area that needs to be addressed.

Suicide

One person's suicide can affect a few thousand people. It affects every family member, every friend and everyone who knew that person. It leaves them with questions that will torment them until they die. How many people kill themselves and leave their children and spouses in perpetual pain because they cannot overcome the loss and they will never get answers.

A person might deem themselves as insignificant but that is not how it really is. The role they play in the world of father, wife, siblings, cannot be done by someone else.

If this is where you are then seek immediate assistance immediately.

Hadith to consider

رَوَى البخاريُّ ومُسْلِمٌ في صَحِيحَيْهِمَا عَنْ رَسُولِ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم أنهُ قالَ: مَنْ قَتَلَ نَفْسَهُ بِحَدِيدَةٍ فَحَدِيدَتُهُ فِي يَدِهِ يَتَوَجَّأُ بِهَا فِي بَطْنِهِ فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ خَالِدًا فِيهَا أَبَدًا، وَمَنْ شَرِبَ سَمًّا فَقَتَلَ نَفْسَهُ فَهُوَ يَتَحَسَّاهُ فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ خَالِدًا مُخَلَّدًا فِيهَا أَبَدًا، وَمَنْ تَرَدَّى مِنْ جَبَلٍ فَقَتَلَ نَفْسَهُ فَهُوَ يَتَرَدَّى فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ خَالِدًا مُخَلَّدًا فِيهَا أَبَدًا

Bukhari and Muslim report in their authentic collections that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) said, "Whoever kills themselves by [a sharp object like] iron will cut himself continually, in his stomach, in the fire of hell forever. Whoever drinks poison to kill themselves will drink poison in the fire of hell forever. Whoever throws themselves off a mountain to kill themselves will continue to do so in the fire of hell, and [they are in] hell forever."

This is a serious warning not to do this action and this includes any manner that one kill themselves and it does not matter how. The Shariah is there to protect human life and not endanger it. Killing themselves in any circumstances is not allowed and even in war, in an act of defense.

Medication

This is also a subject that people have differing views. Irving Kirsh and others have confirmed the following:

"Conclusions The benefits of antidepressants seem to be minimal and possibly without any importance to the average patient with major depressive disorder. Antidepressants should not be used for adults with major depressive disorder before valid evidence has shown that the potential beneficial effects outweigh the harmful effects."

Source

Some research said that depression was a chemical imbalance in the brain but it goes much further than this. Its more than likely that pills will not help most people and only a few who need to feel like taking medication makes them feel better. 

Natural Medicines

By Shaykh Nazim Al-Haqqani said about depression, "Visit hospitals, mental houses, prisons and old peoples homes regularly and your own depressions will disappear quickly. Nowadays many young people get depressed because they are forced to make an education in which they have to learn theoretical subjects for long years which they afterwards never have do not even get a job. To avoid this I suggest young people to learn skills like carpentry which is very useful and will also give them a job at the end of their training." (p.49)

There are some points here. Sometimes being depressed is when someone is just stuck in a moment of their past and cannot see a way out. Looking at other peoples problems gives one perspective on their own problems. 

Working in a job that you hate is almost as bad as having no job. Sometimes one can make a living with their pleasure but most of the time they do not. But you can learn something that is close to your field and get a related job. Parents should not force kids to do things that they hate.

Supplications

عَن أَنسٍ رضي الله عنه أَنَّ النَّبيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم كَانَ كَثِيرًا مَا يَقُولُ: اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَمِّ وَالحَزَنِ، وَالعَجزِ وَالكَسَلِ، وَالبُخلِ وَالجُبنِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّينِ وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ

صحيح البخاري: 6363

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Prophet (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) was often heard saying, "O Allah, I seek refuge with You from concerns, sadness, weakness, laziness, miserliness, cowardice, being overcome by debts and being overcome by men." Bukhari

This supplication is reported in Abu Dawud in a different report and it said that the supplication should be repeated in the morning and evening. Supplication for guidance is never turned away.

Concerns and sadness fuel depression as does weakness of a sick body. This causes laziness and the rest. It is like a chain that lead one further down to the next item. So use this supplication and repeat it twice a day.

 

Possible treatments

Anti-depressants have had varied results and some argue that they do not help except as a placebo. These should only be taken under the care of the professional care. 

The Depression Cure offers six practical steps to fighting depression through Stephen S. Ilardi's program Therapeutic Lifestyle Change (TLC)

TLC are:

- Dietary omega-3 fatty acids

- Engaging activity

- Physical exercise

- Sunlight exposure

- Social support

- sleep

These concur with some things that the actor Jim Carrey said: "I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don't exercise, eat nutritious foods, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material [and] surround yourself with support, then you aren't giving yourself a fighting chance."

Most people are stuck in modes or patterns of behaviour and the person must break their behaviour, this as easy as it seems. A person could need to speak to a professional counsellor who can advise them what to do and listen to their issues.

Sometimes there are vitamin C and D deficiencies so it is worth getting a check up. Simple supplements can be taken to help the person come back to normal.

Laughter is the best medicine and there is some truth to this. Watching or listening to depressing films is not likely to help and it is more likely to make you worse. So watch a comedy program or share some laughter with a friend.

When a heart is sad it needs something to take the place of what has been lost or it needs something to keep it busy to remove the pain. This can be anything lawful to do. Helping others is one such thing like getting involved in charities and so on.

It is a long road to recovery and it is sometimes a means of coping with it. Some days will be better than other days but we are like Rocky Balboa, we never give up.

"Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it." —Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes From Underground

Do not spend prolonged time pouring over details of failure. Learn from the problem and move on. You are meant to have things for a certain time and some things you are never meant to have. The best thing you can do is move on and hope in Allah (The Exalted) for a better future.

If there are family issues then this needs to be resolved and discussed. They should have some sort of job, even a job that one does not like. Having time on ones hands can increase and lengthen the problems. You need to maintain a routine of getting up and sleeping at the same time to help your internal clock.

Exercises is one of methods of making energy and help produce endorphins. Failure is part of the course so even if you have determined to leave it realise there will be slip-ups. 

The forgotten past

There are different types of depression, Abu Zayd al-Balkhi (may Allah show him mercy) a ninth century physician wrote a book about cognitive behaviour and depression in which the causes, which were because of sadness and other without reason called Substance of the soul, "It is a sudden affliction of sorrow and distress/ghummah, which persists all the time preventing the afflicted person from physical activity or from showing any happiness or enjoying any of the pleasures or shahwah [passions]." P.21 The book has been translated by Malik Badri and is worth reading because it was one of the first to talk about mental health.

Treatments

Abu Zayd al-Balkhi (may Allah show him mercy) mentions the impurity of the blood which can be purified by cupping and bloodletting but that is just part of the process. "As for the physical, it concentrates on purifying and psychological. As for the physical, it concentrates on purifying the blood, increasing its temperature and making it lighter." P.51

Depression brings darkness and dryness to the body and it means that they need to elevate themselves. Cupping removes dead blood in the body. 

He continues, "The psychological is limited to gentle encouraging talk that brings back some happiness as well as listening to music and songs and similar activities that emotionally give warmth to the gloomy." Ibid

Some uplifting nasheeds and songs encouraging goodness do help. Music therapy helps by distracting the person from the pain they are feeling and this helps them distract from it. Sunlight does help but not sunbathing! 

He continues, "One must take cognizance of the fact that the most saddening moment of an incident is its inception and that the days that come after will certainly reduce its painful effects until it is gradually pushed into forgetfulness. This kind of mental manoeuvre is bound to bring about a quick feeling of comfort or even happiness and pleasure." (p54)

We are only here for a short time and the difficulties we face will pass. Time will make the sharpness of the memory duller.

He continues, "An additional mental tactic for the afflicted person is to choose some sincere and trusted relatives or friends, who really love him and wish for his good health and happiness, in order to frankly discuss his problem with them and listen to their counsel and advice." (p.62)

A person get find a counsellor if no friend of family is available. We should talk to those who will listen and then adhere to the advice they give. Otherwise, there is no point in asking for help. 

Most of all it is not an overnight process, rather it takes time like drug addiction, one has work gradually to remove it from ones life. Best of luck!

Please also buy two books on tribulation because they might help you.

Commentary 40 hadith on tribulation 

Commentary on Seventeen Benefits of Tribulation