The competing for the world is great between people and it continues without stopping unless you visit the grave. What is the purpose of visiting graves? If it is just the end of one is life then there is no reason to fear it because billions have died before you. The reason to fear it because you do not know what will happen in there. Will you be punished or blessed? This ayah is another proof for life after death.
This hadith explains that the grave can be one of two things depending on his faith. Either a pit of hell for a disbeliever or a garden of paradise for the believer. Another meaning is that they can experience the breeze of paradise or the stench of hell from their grave.
وَٱلَّذِينَ جَآءُوا مِن بَعْدِهِمْ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا ٱغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلإِخْوَانِنَا ٱلَّذِينَ سَبَقُونَا بِٱلإِيمَانِ“They say, ‘Our Lord, forgive our brothers who have preceded us, by faith.” (Quran: 59:10) This supplication is requesting those who have passed away to be forgiven. Is this not about the living benefiting the dead? These are the manners how the living help the dead. Who do we mean those who died upon faith before us? We mean all believers who have passed on previously: the Prophets/Messengers, the Awliya, the Muslims, those who truly believed in the Prophet of their time, the companions, the scholars and all the normal believers. We benefit from the faith they taught us and we seek forgiveness for them and they benefit by that.
Abu Hurayrah [may Allah be pleased with him] reports that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) said, "When humanity dies all his actions are cut off except continuous charity, beneficial knowledge and a righteous child that prays for them." Muslim
A child who prays for their parents is something wonderful. We often see children who are disobedient to their parents and they might not ever think of praying for them.
Speech of the scholars
Al-Suyuti (may Allah show him mercy) said in Sharh al-Sadurr, "There is some differences of opinion about whether the recitation of the Quran arrives to the deceased. The majority of the Imams and the Salaf agree that it does arrive [benefit them]."
Imam Al-Shafi (may Allah show him mercy) was asked about recitation at a grave. He said, "there is no harm in it." Meaning that it is permitted.
Imam Kamal ibn Humam (may Allah show him mercy) said in Fath al-Qadir, "Whoever does a rightous action for someone [can] benefit them by Allah. This reached us by mass transmission." Meaning that benefiting the dead by any good action is tested and well known to have worked.
Al-Badr al-'Ayni (may Allah show him mercy) confirms this in the commentary of Kanz. This is also confirmed in Al-Darr Al-Mukhtar by Imam Al-Musuli (may Allah show him mercy).
Imam Qarafi and Shaykh Abu Zayd al-fasi both confirm this (may Allah show them mercy).
These are names no sane person can ignore!
If you have deceased relatives and want to do something for them then you can do anything like digging a well, supporting a student of knowledge, doing hajj on their behalf, give charity and so on. There is nothing wrong with gathering to make dua for your deceased relative as long as you do not re-live the pain. You have to move on and that is what they would have wanted too. This tradition of donating works is called Itar al-Tawab which is similar to donating the reward and it is a praiseworthy thing to do. If you have no money then read the Quran and donate the reward to them.
Bulgarian translation click here