Tale bearing/Namima
Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “A tale bearer will not enter paradise.” (Bukhari)
Tale bearing is to convey speech from one person to another with an intention of harming them
Imam Ghazali described tale bearing as, “To uncover something that someone dislikes.”
Imam Nawawi (may Allah show him mercy) described tale bearing as, “Transmitting speech from someone to someone else to cause discord.” (see additional notes at the end of the post)
The nature of backbiting is to uncover a secret that should remain a secret
Why do we avoid backbiting?
1. Not to have two tongues
2. Not to have two faces
3. To enter paradise
One of the reasons for tale bearing is for someone to pretend that they are your friend
If you hear tale bearing you should:
1. You should not believe it
2. Forbid it
3. Dislike it
4. You should not think badly about the person who he is transmitting from
(One of the righteous had a man come to him to tell him tales that someone he claimed to hear. The Righteous man said, “Was Satan not able to find anyone else but you to tell me this?”)
To remove this from yourself you need to write down who and what you wrote about then repent over it before sleeping. Then pray the prayer of repentance (two rakats/units). Then repeat this everyday for forty days until you can mange ten days without it. If you go back to it then repeat this procedure.
(the following was an email sent to us and a request to add this information)
Talebearing (Namima)
"Imam Nawawi says:Having summarily mentioned that talebearing (namima) is unlawful, with the evidence for this and a description of its nature, we now want to add a fuller explanation of it.
Imam Abu Hamid Ghazali says, “Talebearing is a term that is usually applied only to someone who conveys to a person what another has said about him, such as by saying, 'So-and-so says such and such about you.'
In fact, talebearing is not limited to that, but rather consists of revealing anything whose disclosure is resented, whether resented by the person who originally said it, the person to whom it is disclosed, or by a third party.
It makes no difference whether the disclosure is in word, writing, a sign, nodding, or other; whether it concerns word or deed; or whether it concerns something bad or otherwise. The reality of talebearing lies in divulging a secret, in revealing something confidential whose disclosure is resented.
A person should not speak of anything he notices about people besides that which benefits a Muslim to relate or prevents disobedience. Anyone approached with a story, who is told, 'So-and-so says such and such about you,' must do six things:
(1) disbelieve it, for talebearers are corrupt, and their information is unacceptable,
(2) tell the talebearer to stop, admonish him about it, and condemn the shamefulness of what he has done;
(3) hate him for the sake of Allah Most High, for he is detestable in Allah's sight, and hating for the sake of Allah Most High is obligatory;
(4) not think badly of the person whom the words are supposedly from, for Allah Most High says, 'Shun much of surmise' (Koran 49:12);
(5) not let what has been said prompt him to spy or investigate whether it is true, for Allah Most High says 'Do not spy' (Koran 49:12);
(6) and not to do himself what he has forbidden the talebearer to do, by relating it to others.”
(ibid 471-72)[Taken from “The Reliance of the Traveler”]
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