New Muslim/convert/revert survival guide

First things first, the whole debate of which is the correct term to use: convert or revert. 
It really is a pain in the lower pelvis!

Fitra

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) said, 

‏كل مولود يولد على الفطرة فأبواه يهودانه أو ينصرانه أو يمجسانه

"Every child is born upon fitra then his parents make him Jewish, Christian or a fire worshipper."

Bukhari

The hadith talks about the person's innate state, which is called fitra. A person fitra state is to believe in God/Allah and in the world believe in the Messenger is added. This depends on the time that they are born and the Messenger/Prophet who was alive or whose message was present in that time. This fitra belief system is innate in human being. It can be covered up by the affects of their environment but it is never fully removed. So the term revert is not correct because the declaration of faith/shahada affirms monotheism and Prophethood. Yet the indication here is that there is no affirmation of Prophethood because that was dependent on the time in which the person was born.

فَأَقِمْ وَجْهَكَ لِلدِّينِ حَنِيفاً فِطْرَةَ اللَّهِ الَّتِي فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لَا تَبْدِيلَ لِخَلْقِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ الدِّينُ الْقَيِّمُ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ

"So be firm in directing oneself to the pure religion; the nature/fitra that Allah created people upon does not change; there is no changing the creation of Allah; this is the ancient religion yet most of the people do not know."

Rum  30:30

Be firm, meaning make your entire purpose, to religion, purify your religion for the sake of Allah; according to Sa'ed ibn Jubayr. Hanafiya meaning pure monotheism that was taught by all prophets. Fitra does not change and this according to the above is unchangeable.

‏‏‏أَلَسْتَ بِرَبِّكُمْ قَالُواْ بَلَى‏‏‏ ‏

(Allah the Exalted said) "Am I not your Lord?" They said, "Yes you are."

Araf 7:172.

Allah (the Exalted) gathered humankind and Jinn then asked then if He was not their Lord and they replied yes. Therefore, this is the innate fitra of monotheism and with the seed of belief with the Prophet of their time.

So can you call someone a revert? A revert linguistically means returning to a previous state. A convert is moving to another state. Here is the confusing thing that either term has some proof to it. They convert by adding Prophethood and they revert to their previous monotheist state. Both have some truth but I would rather drop both terms from common usage. Why? I feel it has become a derogatory term to refer to those who are not ethnic Muslims. They were not born Muslims from Muslim parents. When someone has accepted Islam then there is no need to 'label' them with either term. That person is Muslim now and none of the rest of the revert and covert debate is worth having. Yet we will look into some proofs about this and see where this leads us.

This verse is also a proof against any of the aforementioned group claiming there is no god because they have already admitted it before they were created! So they have no excuse, even if the message has not reached them. Please read article about Dawah.

You could call those who have just entered Islam as new Muslims but even this term is strange. So why not drop them both.

Learning

This is the most important part of Muslims life. Especially someone who has just entered Islam. You will soon learn (after reading a single book) that you have more knowledge than most born Muslims. Partly because many Muslims are not interested in learning and have not attained any interest during their formative years. Rather than look down on such people you should try to spread your knowledge because pride is like pouring acid over ones knowledge. 

You need to learn a lot, so be prepared for the important things that I will tell you. Know that there are many groups and they all have different opinions. So this will confuse you a lot and there is nothing you can do about it. I know there should not be so many fragments but here we are. Stick to the majority who are the Sunnis and even then know that most disagree. Learn from the person who explains things to you, rather than tries to indoctrinate you.

Take your time

Do not rush anything that you have to do. First get one prayer (of the five obligatory prayers) right then when you are ready add another until you get all five in. Then add witr (wajib - after Isha) and then the following Sunnahs: two before Fajr, four before Zuhr, and then whatever Sunnah you wish to add. Do not rush to do all the prayers at once. For most people it will scare them and they will not be able to hack it. It is not a race it is a marathon - so take it slowly. Be the tortoise not the hare.

Find a teacher of one the four schools of Sunni law (Hanafi, Shafi, Maliki or Hanbali) and then try to study aquida Tahawiyyah (few times). Do not be sacred to ask a question, I know many are. Apply knowledge slowly too and do not rush. Satan is the one who makes you rush into doing many good things at once. Then when you get tired, you run out of energy! So now, you cannot do anything and that is what he always wanted.

Early on in Islam, wine was prohibited when approaching prayer and then it was from everything. If one is addicted to alcohol or even pork, then try substitutes and give them up. I am not saying that they are allowed because you have to give up. What you should do is allow new Muslims to make mistakes and allow them time to remove the unlawful. 

Know that a Muslim who commits a major sin is still a Muslim according the majority of scholars. So if a new Muslim drinks, then give them time and room to quit. If a Muslim commits major sin then you should do your best to refrain yourselves and remove the haram from their lives one at a time.

Please click here for an article on halal and haram.

Grow

Allow yourself time to grow into the religion. Things like prayer are paramount but do not think that you have to change your clothes! You may have to modify them, depending if you are a male or female. Clothes should be modest, cover ones nakedness (appropriate to your gender) so not flesh is exposed. Women are obligated to wear hijab but its more than that. Please click here for article on hijab. 

This is very difficult for women to do. Mostly because of the added attention that they will get from Muslim men. Muslim men, for some reason, look more at women with hijabs that those without, stop it. Leave them alone. Take your time with hijab and when you are ready go for it. You could also wear other fashionable headwear that fulfils its purpose, in the time being.

Marriage

Now, this is where the mistakes are made. I would recommend that new Muslims should avoid marriage for at least two years or until they are firm in religion. This is especially for women and maybe not so much for the men. Do not worry there will be plenty of suitors for you. The females have to be extra careful because there men dreaming of marrying a new Muslim women. Some will go to many lengths to do this. By feigning righteousness and wealth, to achieve their goal. You, as a female, need to take a friend with you, even one of your families and meet in a public place. Take your time and chose someone who is right for your religious level or someone who inspires you. Meet them over a long period and if you get married do it within English law too. Do not marry the first dribbling man that comes to you. Marry the one who is not going to die if you are not going to marry him! Maybe that is an exaggeration but women need to be careful. Click here to see advice about marriage. 

Inevitably, you are marrying into a family, so this might be more difficult for you that you might expect. Even if the man you are marrying is open minded, it does not mean that his parents are. Often born Muslims do many things that they are not allowed to, so bear this in mind when you spend time with the dreaded in-laws!

You still have to maintain family ties with your parents and have them meet families. Yusuf Islam accepted the choice of his mother, who was non-Muslim, for his future wife. 

Culture is something that will crop up repeatedly, if you marry an ethnic Muslim. I personally think new Muslims should marry each other and support each other. As they can understand what each other has been through. I also think there is greater chance of success in maintaining a successful marriage. Marriage is difficult enough without additional difficulties.

Culture

This is another potential banana skin. This is one reason why I would recommend new Muslims marry each other because there is no culture clash. This can be positive or negative depending on whatever background your spouse is from. 

Often Islam says one thing and culture dictates something else and its not as clear as it should be. If you are near the indo-pak community then expect invites to spicy food, so keep a glass of water handy, or should that be a jug? Most families are welcoming but you might find some individuals who are not. Thats a sad fact of life. 

Others might expect you to dress in a certain way or into traditional dress of their people. Halal clothes are any clothes that are not see thru, tight, and protect one from the elements. Now that my tribe has the only halal clothes and so on.

There are also cultural scholars who are the worst type of speakers. I do not consider them scholars if they belittle knowledge. They are often narrow minded, how strange! 

Some uneducated people think the only Muslim people are they own tribe. Substitute the word tribe for any race or nationality of Muslim. Some may even say one cannot be Muslim if they belong to western race. Which is course racism and its totally unlawful in Islam. Anyone from any background can become Muslim, their past does not matter. The Prophet (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) disliked any nationalism, and the only way that one Muslim was better than other was by peity/Taqwa. Not all culture is bad but all religion is good.

Your Parents and siblings

This is a different one because many parents will not be able to understand why their children have become Muslims. They are might even see it as treason. 

In any case, they need time to get used to the change, so try to be kind. This might be more difficult for some and less difficult for others. However, a good parent will want to see their children happy. Therefore, if they see happy then another religion will not seem so bad. This is a difficult transition for both sides, so bear that in mind. 

One of my friends said that they should not tell their parents until later. Rather make a slow transition like becoming vegetarian. Let them find out by seeing a change in you, instead of telling them. Leave a prayer matt out, show your parents more respect and so on. This can be more positive for you. I have heard of parents throwing their kids out and even disowning them. One parent is normally more receptive than the other.

Change

Now you have made the change then continue on this path. You have made the correct choice. There will be better days than others. You will come across shocking things. Many Muslims do not live up to expectations. Do not be surprised about how bad things are. You will not find that perfect Muslim, so keep your hopes in Allah (the Exalted) strong. 

The Prophet (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) said, “Islam severs that which is before it.” (Reported by Imam Ahmad in Al-Musnad, 4:199.)

Know that when anyone accepts Islam then their sins are all removed except monies owed to people.

They normally get two rewards: one for following previous religion and now for following Islam.  You will struggle for a while, especially at the beginning,  but things will become clearer after a while. Take your time and welcome to your new life.

‏

Madrasa education: What is wrong with it?

Do you really want me to open this can of worms? Yes, I really do not want to but someone has to speak up and it has fallen to someone like me.

We will seek to identify some major problems with the madrasa system in place in the UK. 

These are some points that we are going to address:

1.       Teachers and standards

2.       Class sizes

3.       Child development

4.       Time allocated for teaching

5.       Disciplinary procedures

6.       Syllabus

7.       Money

Teachers and standards

Madrasa education in the UK, much like our masjids, is in a terrible state. Most teachers are not qualified in Arabic language. Most of the teaching is done by force or by threat of harm. The teaching is not effective to reach the children. So it is not what is being taught that needs to change rather it is our methods. Beating and slapping kids in the face may have worked in our respective homelands but the UK is not going to stand for it much longer.

The teachers are not paid reasonable rates. I am not talking about good rates but reasonable rates this means the people who you send your child to normally cannot speak English. Discipline is clip around the ear or worse.   Teachers are rude and unreasonable to children without any formal education training at all. Would you send your child to an unqualified teacher? In addition, my pet hate, the indo pak teachers who teach the Quranic Arabic in Urdu! Most of them teach what I call urdu-bic, which is neither Urdu type recitation, which is invalid as a reciting method. Facilities vary from very bad to terrible. Some of the places where lessons take place are cold or there is little heating. The list is very long and very distressing.

They are some teachers who are very good but they need help. Unfortunately, some of those running the madrasa are the least educated of people. I really am not joking.

Many people are opening Madrasas to make money and they are not qualified to do so. It is just moneymaking swindle and the public fall for it because they judge knowledge according to the amount of facial hair! Look carefully for the correct teacher for your child find out if he has permission to teach and listen to his recitation. It should be excellent and not like yours!

Class sizes and child development

The class sizes are too large and nothing is done about this. You place your child into a madrasa that has thirty children per hour or sixty in two hours. Do the maths; your child can only have two minutes with the teacher that means they get nothing. Because the child cannot recite in that time and do the next day's lesson. Therefore, your child is neglected and makes no progress. That is why children spend years doing nothing and cannot recite the Quran properly or anything, even after eight years of attending madrasa/masjid.

There is no child development other than read your lesson or you will get a clip around the ear! It is more likely that the child will learn bad habits than learn to recite properly.

Time allocated for teaching and disciplinary procedures

Two or three hours are too long for a child to do after a day's worth of school. An hour is okay but I used to run a madrasa that was running half an hour classes. Before you say, I cannot do anything in that time. I had small classes of five children and we made progress in thirty minutes that others made in a week of two hours a day! I made it short, concise and easy to understand.

Giving a child a clip around the ear should not occur. There should be no smacking the children ever in the masjid, if children are unruly then parents should be involved and the parents should decide on the appropriate measures that exclude being struck.

Money and syllabus

There is no syllabus for the other than the Quran. There are very little in terms of the work that needs to be cared out. There are no levels and not overall vision rather its do as the teacher says or punishment will follow.

Most Madrasas happily take your money and squander it, I am not joking. They boast about child sizes and neglect the children that they boast of! The better Madrasas ask you to pay more. Moreover, like most things in life you get what you pay for. This is no different, in fact, I would recommend people pay more and avoid those who pay less.

Other points

That being said there are some doing sterling work but they are marginalised. They either are out of work or marginalised. The best rule to follow the more kids in a class means the greater chance that your child is not being taught anything. Most Madrasas are not value for anyone's money and it is just an excuse to take your money.

There are thousands of institutes and masjids across the country but how many are fulfilling their purpose? Only a few are giving any time of value for the fees the parents pay. If they were teaching children properly then we would have millions of new teachers but the fact is we have a few. This proves my point that the Madrasas are not teaching anything and are just wasting time and your money. I have nearly ten years of madrasa teaching experience and I have had many bad experiences. There are many people just taking money and not providing anything.

In an area, there might be a handful of people doing some good work. In some areas there are not any. Now I am not saying do not pay fees because you have to pay fees, these are the lifeblood of any madrasa.

Solution?

There needs to be a reasonable wage given to teachers. Why should someone who has studied the religion not have a reasonable wage? The Madrasas should be able to do it and the masjids will definitely be able to. Most masjids have tens of thousands of pounds, some have millions that have been successfully squandered from the public funds.

There needs to be training of the teachers that reaches a level that they can be considered teachers! Instead of just uncles who know nothing. This is in terms of reading Arabic and the basics of the religion.

CRB or DBS checks need to be done with all staff as well some training of how to teach from colleges etc.

Hitting as a form of discipline should not occur ever. It should be abolished before the government intervenes and puts those who do this despicable practice into prison.

Getting teachers to come to one's home and teach your children is one way but this depends on the teacher. Are they a good teacher or not? It can be a solution of sorts but it might not work long-term.

My way or the highway?

After working in a few madrasas. I came to the conclusion that the current methods do not work, it is not effective, wastes money, wastes time and does not prepare our children as it should. Yes, people may know their prayer but do they know the basics of belief, fiqh and other things? Nope they are like beginners. This is why Wahabism is so effective because they trap the uneducated Sunni with logical fallacies that they cannot break down.

What needs to be changed?

Here is my plan for change:

1. Qualified teachers

This is a major problem: most teachers have no qualifications and are not fit to teach.

2. Small, short classes

No more than an hour-long classes.

3. No hitting

Students should not be hit but instead the parent should be informed of challenging      behavior.

4.  Clear curriculum and stages

There needs to be progress charts and definite stages to their progress. Each stage needs         planned books that they will study. 

5. Pay well

 Teachers who are qualified should be paid well and not messed about. They should have      contracts and rights as per the rights they have in normal places of work in the UK.

6. Quranic Arabic

No one should be allowed to teach in Urdu-bic.  Arabic is the only language that the Quran should be taught and learned!

Either we do this now willingly or there might come a time where the government takes charge by placing legislation that leaves us with no choice. The madrasa education system needs a complete overhaul and it needs to reach a level of professionalism that is not currently present. Why do we insist on running an old Datsun from the seventies whose engine does not start? The car has broken down and you need to get a new one! I would like to say to all the teachers, I have given you to tools to do something, so do it. No one else is going to help you, so you have to do it.

Bio of Sidi Ali Al-Khowas (teacher of Imam Al-Sha'rani)

Please click here for his biography.

Blame it on the Muslims?

Sidi Yahya Rhodus

Habib Ali Jifri

On Abu Hassan Al-Shadali (arabic only -sorry)

Sheikh Abdul Hakim Murad

Sheikhism and partisanship

Sunni Islam is something that has been clearly defined several times. It is adherence to one of the four schools of jurisprudence: Hanafi, Shafi, Hanbali or Maliki; as well being Maturidi or Ash'ari in doctrine. That's who Ahl al Sunna wa jammah are and if they are other than this then are not Sunni Islam! It's not adherence to a scholar born in the last two hundred years! It is about following Islam from the beginning! Following an unbroken chain of teachers back to the Prophet (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him).

Not following one scholar's opinion!

That is not Ahl al Sunna! When people follow one scholar's opinion over others then they have left Ahl al Sunna because Ahl al Sunna is the opinion of the consensus of the rightly guided scholars. Not taking one scholars opinion in isolation! What I mean is when people ignore the consensus on an issue and follow one scholar's opinion, which is against the consensus. When someone takes a singular opinion of one scholar in isolation, they go astray. This happens very often. Especially by uninformed speakers who have no grounding in knowledge. You will be surprised if I actually mention the names of such individuals who are not qualified to speak. So why do they speak? Ignorance recognises ignorance.

When you are following your Sheikhs/Pir's opinion in spirituality then you have to adhere to it. The above is about aquida and fiqh, when they have their own opinions that go outside their own school. They should adhere to their school and encourage you to follow yours.

A scholar in the sciences of Aquida and fiqh have to follow the majority in their schools. So a Hanafi Imam must adhere to the majority opinion of the Hanafi school and not have an opinion outside his school. In dire need another madhab can be used, according to the Hanafis, other schools are different. In Aquida, a Maturidi should adhere to its school and not propagate his own opinion outside this school. I see this very often now. People do not even need to see the moon to decide when Ramadan begins! Yet claim to follow a madhab?? Following a singular opinion of a scholar, that is their own opinion, causes one to go astray.

Your Pir/Sheikh could be wrong!

Get ready for a shock because your Sheikh could be wrong! Yes, it is true! Murids of particular Sheikh/Pir follow their teachers with that much love that they even follow them when they are wrong. This is not the fault of the Murid from the onset but it is the fault of the Pir/Sheikh. It shows that he has little knowledge of the sacred law. No one is above the sacred law and your Pir cannot override the Quran but how often they do. If they do it frequently then it points a finger that he might not be a Wali. If your Pir does not know the sacred law then he should refer people to someone who do and not answer questions about things he does not know. Unfortunately, there are 'masters' who are not qualified but pretend as if they are. There are many pretenders to the 'throne' of waliyyah and they have no right. People who are not qualified may die disbelievers because they are propagating a lie about Allah (the Exalted) and His Messenger (may Allah bestow peace and blessings be upon him). 

Now your Pir should never leave the dominate position of his fiqh and aquida school rather than fluff it up! Most Pirs make it up as they go along, with whatever they feel like at the time. I am not joking! 

If your Sheikh/Pir makes a statement that becomes criticised by other scholars then, if you can, clarify it but otherwise leave it. There are a group of the Ummah who have tongues like daggers ready for anyone who they disagree with. Do not be fanatic about your Sheikh because your Sheikh could be wrong. I have come across many circumstances that a Pir has made a statement and his fanatical followers cannot cope with the fact that their Pir is wrong. It is a fact because he is human and humans make mistakes because even a Wali can be wrong. Let the fools argue and step back and not allow yourself to get involved in such issues. If the opinion is against the sacred law then do not do it. Know that most scholars disagree with each other. If you need clarification on a matter then seek it with someone you trust. Do not go to extremes in these matters because it makes you look childish and no righteous scholar wants their Murids fighting each other. 

Sidi Ahmed Zarruq (may Allah show him mercy) said in Kitab Al-Inayah, "Do not listen to he who is like thunder and lighting and not to he who jumps up and sits."

My sheikh is better than yours

This is also as bad as handbags at fifty paces or should I say tasbihs at fifty paces. Your Pir/sheikh is the best person for you and this is might not be true for others. Your friend might not feel the same way as you do about your Sheikh. That is fine; he might follow a Sheikh of another path, that is no problem. The problem is when the Murids boast about their sheikh and make invalid claims. 

I find it very strange that students like a particular sheikh but do not follow their actions. Therefore, it is just for barakah but that has gone when act like you do despite the knowledge you have, there is no point to this!

It is only us

One of the worst things that occurs to new Murids, when they join a spiritual path, they just spend their time with their own Murids. Rather than take from what he needs from those before, he becomes a murid and he even leaves his teachers. There are times when people have to leave teachers but that is rare. Most Murids now exclusively learn from their own 'teachers' rather learn from those better qualified. Therefore, people will drive teachers from across one part of the country to the other rather than call someone local who is more qualified. This is the pinnacle of corruption that exists at this time. It is ugly and unwanted. Sheikhy notes is not like that, we support all those who say anything good.

The source of the problems is the Murids

Sidi Ali Al-Jamal (may Allah show him mercy) had twenty-eight Murids and all of them were Awliyah. This to me makes more sense, than having many Murids and most are neglected because they have no access to teaching. Alternatively, cannot reach the Sheikh, cannot understand him and so forth. 

Most Murids paint their Sheikh to be who they (the Murid) are. Therefore, whatever the murid is the Sheikh is. However, correct adherence to the spiritual path is when the murid takes on the characteristics of the Sheikh and not when the Sheikh becomes like the murid. This is one of the main problems that we see today. The ignorant murid who does not know who is Sheikh is or what path he follows! Yet he propagates his misunderstanding everywhere. He is heard because he screams louder than everyone else.

Is tasawwaf dead?

I would say it is dead in the Murids and only alive in some of the Awliyah. Most of the Murids, are obsessed with outward dress and appearance to the neglect of their inward wretchedness. One of my teachers said that he saw a dream that he went to the grave of the last Wali. Almost everyday we receive news about awliyah dying and are they being replaced? The sad answer is no and if they are, they are not like their precedessors.

Most people who are on the spiritual path have more sins that those not on the spiritual path. Yet, this should not put you off because those who are not on the spiritual path are in a much worse state. They have not taken the spiritual path and have not taken an oath with Allah (the Exalted).

I do believe that Murids are the worst thing about any path. Yet strangely they can be the best.

Imam Al Arabi Al Darqawi (may Allah show him mercy) said, "Our path is the path of lions yet pigs and monkeys travel upon it." (Al-Risala Al-Darqawiyyah)

Closing points

Realise that your Sheikh is a human being and can be wrong, like everyone else in the world. Only Allah (the Exalted) and his Messenger (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) are never wrong. Everyone else do not have such protection. Scholars/Pirs etc can be wrong so it is up to you to find out about what does not seem clearly right. Do not obey your Sheikh if he commands you to do any haram act. A wali has protection/hifz from disbelief but not committing sins or mistakes. Someone asked Junaid Al-Baghdadi (may Allah show him mercy) if a wali can commit illegal fornication, he began to sweat and recited the verse, "The decree is apportioned." So the Wali can commit sins but will repent straight away. 

I am not advocating people leaving their sheikh, do not leave your Sheikh unless he is drinking alcohol in public or something similar. If he is doing this then he is not a Sheikh then a pretender. Just understand that there are strange circumstances that occur and you have to aware of them. Breaking ones bayah/bayat is a serious matter and should not occur in normal circumstances. 

The only reason another sheikh can be taken is when their Sheikh dies, is too far to be reached and there is no access to him or when the Sheikh is found out to be someone else. Alternatively, when the Sheikh dies and there is no one to take his place. So then another sheikh can be sought. Otherwise, a murid should never break his bayah. 

Be realistic and know that you might never find that perfect murshid/guide and you might not be the perfect murid. So let us continue on the path and struggle. 

The spiritual path is all about giving one another the benefit of the doubt, so let us start with each other.

Welcome to the masjid

Habib Ali Al-Jifri

Refuting IS / Daesh

Sheikh Yahya Rhodus

Blessed birth

Sheikh Yahya Rhodus

Culture Q and A

Sheikh Atabek Shukurov

Can we celebrate Mawlid?

Sheikh Yahya Rhodus

Islam's cultural impertive

Sheikh Yahya Rhodus

Educating the heart

Sheikh Abdul Hakim Murad

Repentance

Sheikh Yahya Rhodus

Preserving faith