Welcome to Sheikhy Notes, unique website that features, videos, notes given by traditional Muslim scholars. As well my posts/articles on particular subjects. Scroll down for various topics, scholars, links, quotes and monthly archives or use search engine to find posts. Please note that articles are copyright and cannot be copied without express permission. Allah Subhanu wa Ta’ala knows best. Est. 2005, ma sha Allah.
Saturday, October 30, 2021
Saturday, October 23, 2021
Wednesday, October 20, 2021
Saturday, October 16, 2021
Friday, October 15, 2021
The haram things about weddings
The haram things about weddings
There are quite a few unlawful things about weddings even though the marriage might be the most halal thing someone does, the actual wedding is not.
We are told to eat, drink but not to excess.
وكُلُواْ وَٱشْرَبُواْ وَلاَ تُسْرِفُوۤاْ إِنَّهُ لاَ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُسْرِفِينَ
"Eat, drink [but] not to excess, He does not like the profligate." (Quran 7:31).
Abu Laith al-Samarqandi said, "in the unlawful, or it is claimed excess is to eat that which is not lawful. Alternatively, to eat that which is lawful but above reason and the limits of need. "
The Asian Wedding Industry is worth over £3 billion a year with the average Asian couple spending over £50,000 on their wedding with costs only expected to grow. (Asian Wedding Magazine, 2015)
1. The cost is extravagant to the extreme. Wedding should be done reasonably and without burdening the relatives.
2. Excessively large Mahr - the Mahr is the wedding gift of the male to the female. These are too expensive and it takes a long time to save to get married.
3. The unlawful clothing of the bride, the groom, the attendees. The man will often have a suit on that is so tight - it looks painted on! The women will have spent at three hours putting fake make up and then wearing inappropriate clothing.
4. Loud music: that often disturbs people around the vicinity. This includes annoying fireworks and loud drums.
5. Parking: often they block residents by blocking the streets and parking behind parked cars. The Highway Code does not matter to them!
6. Decorating the house: this is so childish and a total waste of time.
7. Too much food: one meal and a desert is enough but they have many meals and lots of waste.
8. Hiring of expensive cars
9. Free mixing and shouting and screaming
10. Expenses: the only money/present that should be exchanged is the mahr which is a gift of the husband to the wife. Everything else is culture. The blessed Prophet (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) did give gifts to Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her) but these were practical gifts like plates and so on.
The marriages of the Prophet (may Allah bestow peace and blessings be upon him) were simple and without fuss. The marriage of Fatimah and Ali (may Allah be pleased with them) was simple too, they had perfume in the corridors and served raisins and dates.
If you are at the wedding, then there is nothing wrong in looking elegant for men but they should not be wearing tight clothing.
A reasonable wedding can be done for a few thousand pounds and not tens.
Someone who I once knew told all the guests to make charitable donations made for the bride and groom and not presents.
Marriages should easy and not hard, but today they are so hard.
Now that I told you then you have no reason to continue this nonsense!!
What shall we do then?
Spend a moderate amount, invite close relatives, have a small function, make Shukr for the blessings, avoid wastage, make it quick, keep genders separate, keep it simple, both genders cover correctly, do not ask for expensive gifts and avoid extravagance in everything, especially clothes etc. Most of all do not compete with the neighbours or the people of your area. The only competing allowed is the competition for good actions. But most of all enjoy the blessing of Allah (the Exalted) from the union of you both and thank Him for it.